


Getting Back to What We Used to Be

by F1_rabbit



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-19 03:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13115118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: Their break up was a bad one, but that doesn't stop Stoffel longing for what could have been...





	Getting Back to What We Used to Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hopefulstranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefulstranger/gifts).



> Merry Christmas sweetie <3

“I hope you’re happy now.” Kevin pushed Stoffel away, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You helped turn them against me.”

Stoffel held his hands up, backing away as though Kevin was armed and dangerous, although he was one of the few people that had the power to destroy him, with nothing more than words.

“If that’s how you feel, then we’re through.”

“Stoffel, wait, that’s not what I meant.” Kevin reached out for his wrist, but Stoffel yanked it away.

“You’ve made it very clear what you meant.” Stoffel walked out of the room, into the crowded factory, his smile plastered on to his face so that he didn’t slip up.

He should be happy, he was going to be reserve driver for McLaren, but Kevin, he was being cast out to forge his own way in the sport.

Stoffel had waited so long for his chance, and now it was here he didn’t want it, not like this.

***

The news that Kevin was getting the Renault drive had Stoffel beaming with pride, he knew that he could do it, and he was going to show the world what he could do with a good car.

But it also meant that Stoffel would have to see him every race weekend, and wonder what could have been between the two of them.

He’d hoped that Kevin would have sent him a message since they broke up, even just a generic Merry Christmas text, but there’d been nothing.

Stoffel thought about sending him a text to say congratulations, but the pain would only be worse if he didn’t answer, so it was easier just to do nothing.

Pretend that it never happened, that they’d never whispered ‘I love you’ while curled up naked in bed, that they’d never talked about one day saying ‘I do’, and that they’d never talked about how Kevin would be an amazing dad.

Stoffel sniffed as tears ran down his cheeks, and he curled up in a ball, alone and wishing that Kevin was there to hold him.

***

Seeing Kevin again was like a punch to the stomach, flashing him his media-friendly smile, not even bothering to stop and say hi.

They didn’t speak until Bahrain, and that was a simple good luck, not even a ‘hi’ or a ‘how are you?’

Stoffel felt jealous every time that he saw Kevin laughing and joking with Jo, even though he knew that Jo wasn’t interested in Kevin in that way, or anyone for that matter.

Breaking up had been painful, but now Stoffel realised that the greatest pain was losing his best friend.

***

“Full-time driver, congratulations.”

Stoffel spun round to see Kevin standing there with a smile on his face, it was the most words that he’d said to him all year.

“Thanks, congrats on the two-year contract with Haas.”

“Thanks.” Kevin fidgeted with the cord for his hoodie, his big blue eyes shining out like a clear winter sky. “I’m sorry about what I said before, I was angry, but I shouldn’t have taken that out on you.”

“Apology accepted.” Stoffel leant in for a hug, he’d forgiven Kevin long ago, but it was nice to hear him actually say the words.

Kevin stepped back, and then his lips were on his, so familiar and comfortable, still a little bit rough, but then Stoffel’s brain kicked in and he broke the kiss.

“We haven’t spoken for a year, and you think we’re going to get back together because you apologised?”

Kevin bit his lip, looking at the ground, that was clearly what he’d thought, but Stoffel knew he couldn’t just jump straight back in.

“Friends? And then we can take things from there?”

“Deal.” Kevin leant in for a hug, his chapped lips grazing against his cheek as Stoffel wondered if he’d done the right thing, but he couldn’t bear to be hurt again.

***

Being friends again was like finding an old comfy hoodie that was soft and fluffy. Stoffel had never realised all the little things that he missed, like basking in Kevin’s genuine smile, the one that only family and friends got to see, or the way that Kevin would text him with little things that he thought he would like. Even just hearing about his day, and how his siblings were getting on, made him feel happy that he was a part of Kevin’s life again.

It had all been strictly platonic, but Stoffel knew in his heart that he wanted Kevin to be his boyfriend, and he hoped that Kevin felt the same.

Kevin was coming round so that he could give him his Christmas gift before they both went home for the holidays, and he was going to tell him how he felt.

He’d had a beer for moral support, and then another one, just to keep the first beer company.

Kevin arrived in time to stop him opening a third beer, and he was grateful for that, hugging Kevin tight before leading him to the living room where a small fibre-optic tree was flashing away in the corner.

He played host, fetching hot chocolate and cookies before sitting down on the sofa with a smile on his face.

Stoffel couldn’t focus on the conversation, Kevin’s lips so alluring and soft, as though he’d recently learned what lip balm was.

“What are your plans for Christmas?”

“Go home, catch up with friends, eat way too much food that I’m going to have to work off in the gym.” Stoffel snorted in laughter, the one time that racing drivers got a little bit of freedom, and all they did was worry about next year.

“Sounds good.” Kevin reached down into his bag, pulling out a small box, about the size of a bracelet, that was wrapped in the most beautiful blue paper, adorned with sparkly snowflakes.

Stoffel’s hand trembled as he reached out for it, sparks flying through his body as his fingers touched Kevin’s.

“Well, are you just going to stare at it or are you going to open it?”

“It’s not Christmas yet.”

“Would you open it for me?” Kevin fluttered his eyelashes, and Stoffel knew that he’d do anything for Kevin.

Stoffel picked the tape off, carefully unfolding the paper as Kevin’s impatience grew, circling his hand in a bid to get Stoffel to hurry up.

Inside was a black velvet box, and Stoffel expected to see a bracelet when he opened it.

It was a ring.

Stoffel gasped, confusion written all over his face, and he looked up at Kevin who was still smiling.

“Do you not like it?”

Stoffel went to speak but no words came out, his mind grappling to make sense of it all.

Was Kevin proposing, even though they hadn’t talked about dating again?

Stoffel sat the box down on the sofa, and Kevin picked it up, his eyes wide when he saw what was in it.

“Fuck, wrong box.”

Stoffel clutched his heart, not out of drama, but to stop it from beating out of his chest. He hadn’t realised that Kevin was dating anyone else.

“Who’s the lucky person?”

Kevin exhaled, staring at the ring as though it had the power to destroy him.

“It was for you, I was waiting for the right time to ask, and then we broke up…” Kevin shook his head, and Stoffel saw the pain in his eyes. “But I couldn’t bear to get rid of it, I really believed that we would get back together.”

Stoffel smiled, knowing that Kevin felt the same way about them was a dream come true, and it gave him hope that they could have a future together.

“What would you do if I said yes?”

Kevin’s eyes lit up, and Stoffel reached out to hold his hand, stroking the side of it with his thumb as goose bumps rippled along his skin.

“I’d drag you to the bed to celebrate.” Kevin grinned, and Stoffel flew into action, dragging him to the bedroom, glad that he’d put clean sheets on, just in case things went well.

Their first kiss was rough and needy, two years was a long time to wait, and Stoffel was rock hard before he’d even taken his jumper off. He helped Kevin out of his clothing, kissing him whenever his mouth was free, while fumbling with his own clothes.

They’d been apart too long to take things slow, and yet Stoffel still knew all the places to kiss and lick and nibble to have Kevin begging for more.

Kevin looked like a god lying out on the bed with his legs spread wide, touching himself as Stoffel reached over to get the condoms and lube from the drawers by the bed.

“Missed me?” Stoffel grinned, lubing up a couple of fingers as Kevin nodded, his cock twitching as Stoffel reached down to tease at his hole, waiting until he was breathless before sliding a finger in. The intimacy was overwhelming, the silky warmth arousing.

“I want your cock.” Kevin pouted, and Stoffel added another finger, making him gasp as his body adjusted to the stretch.

“Still demanding in bed, I see?” Stoffel slid his fingers out, delighting in Kevin’s needy little whimpers as he rolled the condom on.

“Please, now.”

Stoffel lined up against his slick hole, nuzzling against his neck as Kevin wrapped his legs around his waist, steadying himself for the feeling of being filled to the hilt with Stoffel’s glorious cock.

He bottomed out with one slow thrust, Kevin arching his back as he took a deep breath, before exhaling with a sound of pure pleasure.

Kevin’s hand wandered lower, stroking his back before playfully slapping his bum, sparking him into action as he started to thrust, Kevin tight around him at first, but then he relaxed as they settled into a comfortable pace, Kevin’s hard cock pressed up against his abs, smearing precome as he rubbed up against him.

Stoffel wanted to make it last, to savour every second, but Kevin was gasping and moaning as though he was on the brink of orgasm, his muscles fluttering as Kevin gripped his buttocks with such force that his fingernails were digging in.

Kevin grunted as he came, spilling warm come over his stomach, and he clenched around him with such force that it left him breathless, Kevin’s tight muscles milking every last drop of come out of him.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this so much.” Kevin let his head fall back against the pillow, and Stoffel trailed kisses along his neck, nuzzling against his fluffy beard.

“You’re not just fast on the track.” Stoffel stuck his tongue out, and Kevin leant up for a kiss, lazy swipes of the lips that showed just how relaxed he was.

“I promise I’ll last longer on our honeymoon.”

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
